My Starting Point – My Goals and My Before Pictures (This is HARD!)

Wow … this is really hard for me …

If you’re here and you don’t know me then I’ll start by saying that I’m pretty much an open book … always have been and probably always will be.

When I decided to journal my journey to losing weight and getting fit at 44 I thought, “no big deal.” In fact, I was pumped because I figured the only thing worse than failing at this (again) would be failing publicly LOL so I knew it would really motivate me.

Now, I’m not normally a “negative” person but for some unknown reason every time I’ve set out to lose my “post pregnancy” weight (note: my oldest is 14 and my youngest is turning 11 on May 1^st) I’ve done “ok” but I’ve always gained it all back (and it seems even more this last go around).

So let’s talk numbers *sigh* … I’m 5’9” and when I started this journey on Friday, April 9, 2010 I weighed 184 (more than I’ve ever weighed “not pregnant). I have a large build so fortunately/unfortunately I can put on weight and “hide” it … it tends to go on fairly evenly so I usually don’t know I’ve gained weight until I (a) get on a scale, (b) put on clothing that feels snug, or (c) see a recent picture of myself. This time it was a combination of these three but I will say that after getting on the scale I knew it was time to get serious.

On Saturday, April 10^th I asked my husband, Ken, to measure me so I’d have a starting point and to take my “before” pictures. Now, I doubt there’s a woman alive who doesn’t understand how incredibly … horrifying … it is to stand naked in front of the man you love and adore and have every inch of your body measured … when you don’t like the way you look. For you men … hmmm … I’m not sure I can even describe this to you so we won’t go there for now (maybe I can address this in another post LOL). He seemed somewhat annoyed to be measuring me and I got my feelings hurt. It got worse when he came outside to take the pictures (it’s painfully obvious – you see the hurt/angry look on my face in the photos). It turns out he was stressed about something totally unrelated and I was just letting my own dislike of my body make me oversensitive. *sigh*

I bring this up because I’ve read a LOT of blogs where others have shared the hurt, anger, frustration, depression … the emotional rollercoaster … that they’ve gone through when they are not happy with their body. I’m now certain that I’m guilty of being sensitive and/or grouchy at times due to my body/self esteem issues … and that’s not OK.

As for my goals, I’m certain they will change as I get further into my journey but for now I have a weight loss goal to get down to at least 158 lbs. or less on or before June 30, 2010 (our 1 year wedding anniversary). I will add other goals at a later time but this will get me started.

My starting measurements are:

Left Arm: 12 ¾

Right Arm: 12 ¾

Chest/Across Nipple: 41 ¼

Chest/Underwire: 35 ½

Waist/Across Bellybutton: 38

Waist/3 Inches Down from Bellybutton: 40 ½

Hips/Biggest Part: 44 ½

Right Thigh: 25 ¾

Left Thigh: 24 ½

Note: I have NO idea how to properly take my measurements. In fact, every time we measured we got a different number (some were quite a bit different) so this will be a learning experience and could even produce inaccurate results. If you have any tips or suggestions or can point me in the right direction on this please do so.

So there you have it … my starting point on this journey. As I said, this was a lot harder than I expected and I appreciate you letting me share it. *SmiLes* Suzanne

Tagged as: after 40, before pictures, lose weight, weight loss goals